In times of transition, one of the challenges is navigating the mess of not being where we were, and also not being where we are going, yet. We are caught in between whatever we have left and whatever is to come.
In this middle, the things we used to lean on – habits of thought and action that were rightly developed for the life we had – don’t necessarily apply anymore. We will keep leaning on them, however, because they are what is familiar, what has brought us success in the past, and what is easy to execute. That is until we realize that they have stopped working.
To avoid having to go through some of the pain of this trial and error, there is one thing we can do. We can look at the messy middle as one big interruption, and ask ourselves this question:
What if we didn’t?
This question can serve as the interrupter for the instinct to act. Given the urgency many significant transitions have surrounding them, this kind of interruption can be important. When urgency presses on us, we want to get moving. In this state, the movement that will most likely come out is a habit. Something we’ve done before. A core action, or rather, reaction to the pressure we are facing.
What if we didn’t?
What if we didn’t do the thing that came naturally right away? What if we paused and looked to do a new thing – something more appropriate given the circumstances? What if instead of just doing what comes most easily, we did the thing that was harder (more unnatural) but more grounded in the needs of the moment?
With our actions unmoored from habit, our core values, or core formation, become the guides. Who we are aiming to become is actively being birthed in times like this. We get to see the fault lines and carve new roads. But only if we didn’t jump to do the thing we always did.