My Life as My Witness
A different way
I’m trying to break a habit. Almost every evening before I go to bed I do one quick pass on social media. This “quick pass” can turn into an hour of what the kids call doom-scrolling (never ending, meaningless, soul-sucking). I need to stop. I have a conundrum. Much of my work is around some kind of performative element. Something I do that needs sharing in order for others to engage. Social media is one of the largest and most cost-effective channels to get the word out. But something is missing.
In cultures that are fundamentally communal, the idea of a witness is important. What makes for a good witness and the process of witnessing are agreed upon for the sake of establishing communal trust. I’ve written about what bearing witness might constitute here.
Social media is a great platform for witnessing. We can leave a long trail of documentation that bears witness to our activities and thoughts on any number of channels. Whatever we post is there for everyone to see…forever.
The problem, as many have come to know is that social media is not necessarily a reflection of reality. It is more often a carefully curated selection of media that we choose to post, reflecting how we would like to be seen. Yes, many of us do this in real life, too.
We try to manage impressions.
There is a different way.
Instead of manufacturing a media-based presentation of my life to be my witness, what if I worked so that my very life could be the witness? This is more personal, vulnerable, and genuine. It really only works on a smaller scale where knowing and being known is possible through in-person interactions. In reality, this kind of witnessing is what is happening already, and is practically inescapable.
My life naturally bears witness to the inner landscape that I carry. It bears witness to the spiritual reality that I contend with. If expressed honestly the shape of the spirit that I have will produce actions that naturally reflect it. While others can not see the shape of my spirit (nor should they try), they can easily see my actions, and those can be judged (and should be). I should be quick to note here that clear judgement can happen without any corresponding condemnation.
My life is by no means perfect. You will find a variety of reports from the people I’ve interacted with if you were to survey them. This is to be expected. However, I would hope that the reports you’d receive become progressively more consistent over time, more closely reflecting the kind of life I am aiming to live – the kind of person I am aiming to become.
Some folks might think that just living out what you believe in isn’t enough. “You should be vocal,” they might say. I don’t think there is a rule here. I think the line some folks are pressing on is the idea that we must be effective propagandists for what we believe. In a world filled with propaganda we can’t let other (read: bad) ideas win.
My take is different. I think propaganda is inherently manipulative, and one thing love doesn’t do is manipulate. So I will pass on being a propagandist, but gladly bear witness. For example:
In a world that condemns quickly and often, living as someone who has experienced forgiveness (and being willing to offer the same) may seem outlandish.
In a world that demands punitive justice, being merciful might be considered ridiculous.
In a world that will run you over if you don’t speak up, not speaking out might seem reckless.
In a world that is always at war, working towards peace might seem like a fools errand.
Every one of these actions bears witness to something deeper at work within us. The shape of the spirit of the person who does such things with ease, especially in a world organized against, them bears witness to the possibility of an entirely different world, a different kind of life, and knowledge of the way to get there.