AtQ - What Are You Pursuing?

Exploring Powerful Questions

In the latest Talking Note I explored the idea of values being a layup in the world of transformation. While a highly effective tool, the sharing of values is not the thing that makes the transformation happen. Instead, I propose that relationship, even apprenticeship, is the context in which the mystery of a transformed spirit occurs.

Apprenticeship allows for trust, love, and personalized guidance. It is the learning school of those desiring deep change. To become a particular kind of person requires the kind of trust, intimacy, and personalization that apprenticeships are designed for. However, apprenticeships don’t just happen. There is a part that the student plays in all of this.

This week’s question may help us unveil just what that is, as we ask…

What are you pursuing?

As child, we might have been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” In my day, the common answers were vocational. Mine answers were fireman and astronaut, depending on the day. The question and the answers are a specific way of setting a goal, which in turn sets a focus and direction of our lives. We might not take a child’s answer too seriously, but it’s worth considering. My own desire to become a tap dancer at the age of nine lead to a life that I could not have predicted.

Still, there may come times in our lives where we are tasked with reconsidering our pursuits. Perhaps a willful or imposed shift in circumstances make our current path no longer available. Maybe a role we’ve filled is no longer available to us or a role we hoped to have is no longer an opportunity. Whatever the catalyst, considering what we are pursuing is a good question to help plant one’s feet back on the ground.

Here I’ve encountered two basic types of pursuits. One is a particular achievement – think job, recognition, life moment. These are things to which we can say, “I did that,” or “I have that.” Then there are qualitative or pursuits of character – think kindness or stubbornness or gentleness. These are things to which others might say, “you are that.”

I say “others,” because part of the core proposition of spiritual transformation is that it happens in the context of intimate relationship. That is the kind of connection between people that offers knowledge of persons. Here we will be known, and so others might be able to speak more honestly about who we are than we might be able to ourselves. This is not to deny the efficacy of self-reflection but to acknowledge its limitations.

That said, pursuits of character are the type that withstand the natural frivolousness of material things. Ultimately, it is the character that we have that we share with the world. It is the character that we have that we are responsible for (to whatever degree we are aware and capable). It is the character we pursue that we can work towards specifying and that comes from the pursuit of a persona rather than a position, thing, or value.

As material things come and go, one’s character seems to have a way of living on. In that sense, it makes sense to contend for the pursuit of a particularly good character. Ask the question, specify the goal, pursue in the manner of the person you hope to become, for the process is, in itself, formative of our person, and our person is the greatest gift we can give to the world.

As always, we’ll never know unless we ask the questions.