We want change.
Coaches are supposed to help us navigate the space between where we are and where we want to be.
Coaching happens in a dynamic context. It is not stagnant. It isn’t taking a car to the shop to have it tuned-up or fixed. Life doesn’t necessarily stop for the sake of change.
Rather, change happens while life continues. This can make navigating transitions, achieving new goals, or avoiding burnout challenging. The reality of life comes at us every day – unrelentingly.
There is one shift that has done the most good for me when I am stuck or overwhelmed by the nature, gravity, and too-muchness of life. It is this:
Rather than requiring some separate time and space to experience the change I am aiming for – I can recognize that life itself is the context of all change. Any moment is an opportunity to move toward a new goal.
Said another way, instead waiting for transformation, I can engage in my daily formation.
We are already on a path to become a particular kind of person. Our lives are organized toward a particular outcome. We are a willing conspirator in both the direction and organization, and they effectively determine whether or not we experience the transformation we are hoping for.
Formation is a daily – if not moment-by-moment – process. That means we can engage in it as often as we would like. No moment is more special than any other. We need not wait. Here are a few things that are good starts:
Observing our own reactions to situations.
Getting curious as to why certain patterns emerge regular.
Gracefully acknowledging the distance between the person that you are and person you want to become.
These are all well within reach. Engaging in our daily formation is accessible to us. We can do things (albeit indirectly) that affect the direction and organization of our lives.
Keeping our focus on the things we can do that help the actual process of formation frees us from the tension, anxiousness, and helplessness that comes with being over-stretched and under-resourced.
Next thing you know, you might wake up one day and the thing that was hard has become easy, the thing that you had to work for now just shows up, and the transformation you were hoping for has become your reality.
But it doesn’t happen with asking the question.